Narges

Dear LJ friends, and anyone who will come by this place at some point,

Thanks for your loyalty to this little blog, in the past 6 years. Wow, that sounds long doesn't it? :)

Anyway, this post is a little overdue. What I am here to say is that I have decided to close this 6-year old chapter, hopefully to focus on my life's more important chapter, this time in the real world. Maybe I'll write again, maybe in Persian, maybe in English, maybe even a book. Who knows? But I know that I will not write in here anymore. The task I set off to do is done here. Now I have a more serious task in mind, something that demands a chapter of its own. A more daring, more certain, wiser, and more determined chapter. Life is good, life is serious, life is there to live for!

What I can say is that I had an amazing experience, thanks to all of you. :*

So, in a few weeks I'll start PhD, still in the US. You already know about everything that's happening in Iran. My family is safe... I'm also safe, in case you have been worried. It has been hard, really hard to watch the events from far away, but these days my steps are a little bit more determined, my shoulders a little bit more set, my mind is a little more focused, and I'm hopeful. I'm proud, and very hopeful. In the last month I have touched the true meaning of *country* and *honor* and *sacrifice* and *courage*. I am just counting days till the day I fly back home to join this brave brave people forever.

Well, yeah, that's it!
Take care you all,
Best wishes,
Narges
19 July 2009

If you are wondering where I am, you should know that I am again running between my office, classes, managing activities for an student organization (which I was made the president this year), university faculty and PhD admission web pages (including many schools in sunny southern California :D), publishing some stuff, annnnd...

... since Friday evening, planning the coolest ever vacation to Los Angeles, Las Vegas and San Fransisco. Yaaaaay! I'm spending nearly 10 days there during the winter holiday, and I'm looking for the best best places to visit, and coolest activities to do. If you have ideas and suggestions please share! I will repay you by writing the best travel entry of my journal ever! Right now we are going from Pittsburgh to LA, spend one night at a friend's house, then drive to Las Vegas the morning after, and spend 3 days there. We will then drive back, spend one day in LA again, and then head up to San Fransisco (driving through the famous highway 1). After 3 days in SF we plan to go back down to LA. We will then spend 3-4 more days around LA and then fly back to Pittsburgh.

Sounds really exciting and I want to fill it with the most exciting activities imaginable. If you have great experiences on each of these places or cities and national parks around the cities and on the road, then please let me know too! I can't wait to experience the other side of the US for a little bit :-)

Yesterday I finally received the check for my calligraphy! Yeah, well, a little bit late, but I got it none the less! And that's a money you want to have fun with! (honestly it wasn't all that much to begin with, but oh well). I'm thinking to buy a good watercolor set with it.

Summer (in student sense) is also about to be over. :( I see more gray sky everyday. My classes will begin next Monday, and I'm already starting to miss the nice summer. I'm thinking that maybe for PhD I should really consider a place where the weather is always good. Somewhere that doesn't get too hot or too cold. I've heard there are some nice places in the west and south-west. I'm actually really looking at the nice schools out there. Any particular suggestions about the best locations?

Oh by the way, I got a brand new oven today. Looks pretty cool and clean! :D
Should go try it out now. Ooh which reminds me,

There's one Persian food recipe I was planning to write up here. It's my favorite food, somehow. And it's really easy. You can actually only try the chicken, but adding rice will make it even more Persian.

for 2 people you need :

1) a medium sized onion
2) two or three spoons of cooking oil
3) half a teaspoon of turmeric
4) two spoons of tomato paste
5) a boneless chicken breast cut into 4/5 pieces.
6) some salt
7) small pieces of green Bell pepper (not the hot type)
8) long rice (not Asian rice)
9) a tiny bit (a pinch) of grounded saffron, and a spoonful of rosewater.

( So here's what you do... )

OK, I'll now go cook something else! (loobia polo)
Good luck with the food, good luck with the new semester and good luck with the Olympics!

omg omg I STILL have not seen the opening ceremony! I have only found the countdown part, and the part where they light the big torch, plus many many beauuuuutiful photos. And those has been enough to leave me drunk with delight in the past two days. Just HOW beautiful this ceremony has been! Wow, wow, wow, wow I am in love with this diversity of this world. A huuuuuuge love to Chinese art and Chinese music and Chinese language and Chinese people! Because they are hosting the games this year, and because I'm usually on hosts' side, and because Iranians have noooo hope to win the whole game this year, I hope China wins this year. Go Go China!

If anyone knows how I can see the full ceremony please let me know!

Right now I'm watching women's gymnastics (they are all so YOUNG!) and it's just amazing!
God, life is really beautiful.

These past couple of weeks I've become very pro-Persian again.

Hehe, I think my Persian culture dosage had dropped a little low, and after inviting a friend over one evening and cooking delicious Persian food, showing pictures of myself and my family and then pictures of Tehran and the young and fun crowd everywhere in the city, and then watching a couple of movies of my favorite Persian actors (who are handsome and cool and hot, if it's possible hehe), and watching some meaningful Persian movies very unlike some shallow Hollywood garbage that my Comcast cable gives me everyday, again I was pretty much grateful that I had been born in Iran and have grown up there. You know, someone a little smart who has grown up in Iran in a good family has a much higher chances of experiencing different cultures than someone equally smart, born and raised in, say, Pittsburgh. And nothing can open your mind as well as actually experiencing different cultures.

By the way, have you read the latest (August 2008) issue of NationalGeographic magazine on Iran?
It has featured Iran in this issue, and has anecdote-style article on Iranian culture and history. You can check it out here: http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/featurehub
It's not too long. I really recommend everyone to read it to get a better picture.

" What's so striking about the ruins of Persepolis in southern Iran, an ancient capital of the Persian Empire that was burned down after being conquered by Alexander the Great, is the absence of violent imagery on what's left of its stone walls. Among the carvings there are soldiers, but they're not fighting; there are weapons, but they're not drawn. Mainly you see emblems suggesting that something humane went on here instead—people of different nations gathering peace­fully, bearing gifts, draping their hands amiably on one another's shoulders. In an era noted for its barbarity, Persepolis, it seems, was a relatively cosmopolitan place—and for many Iranians today its ruins are a breathtaking reminder of who their Persian ancestors were and what they did... More. "

Yesterday one of my loveliest friend married to a wonderful man! What a great day, in history! :)

She is one of the nicest, smartest, most beautiful and funnest girls I have ever had the fortune to be a friend of. Ah, we had so many fun afternoons together in Tehran Univ cafeteria. It still brings a big grin on my face! Your husband is sooooo lucky, girl. I wish for you a loooong life full of passionate and peaceful and cozy and strengthening love, refreshing and adventurous and joyful fun, soaring big dreams, calming soaring faith, sizzling happiness, health, and unique brilliant moments. Not to mention a couple of cute and healthy and smart little kids! :D

Their wedding celebration was in Tehran, so I couldn't attend. But I can still wish her all the best from here: If you ever read this, or if you don't, it doesn't change how deeply happy I am for both of you, and how sincerely I wish all the best for you. I hope this positive warm happiness somehow traverse through the earth and brings warm smiles on your face right here and now.

I've been watching Children of Heaven, one of my favorite Iranian movies tonight. All 10 parts (with English subtitles) are on YouTube. I still got some misty eyes when watching the movie! It's a very simple story of a brother and sister, but at the same time, gives glimpses of life of a poor and honorable family in a poor neighborhood of Tehran. You can look into school, houses, contrasts to rich neighborhoods, sruggles for simplest things of many citizens Iran, actually. Interestingly, I've been told by some fellow CMU students that they have been touched a lot by this movie, so, I guess non-Iranian might enjoy this movie too.

If you want a touching and simple movie for your weekend, definitely try this one. It will change your view on many things in life. Just let it wash over you for an hour and a half. It's worth it.


OK I have to go to a summer sale tomorrow! Need to get some sleep now...
But again, I really recommend you to watch Children of Heaven over the weekend!

Yesterday was an eventful day.

I started morning with a message from our president, saying that Randy Pausch has died last night. Pretty sad, but well, it was a matter of time. I am just glad he managed to change so many people's lives and have a big effect on the world before leaving it. God bless him.


Later in the morning, I received a call from a friend who had two tickets for a baseball game (Pittsburgh Pirates versus San Diego something) and we decided to get together at 6pm. I finished my work at 5, and decided to go home and get my Pirates cap. On my way back, I decided to go to an Indian shop to finally buy one of the "Learn Hindi in 30 days" books I had seen there before. The more languages I know, the better for my carrier! But I didn't get to go too far in that shop.

An old man, carrying 4 shopping bags asked me if I have a car. I said no, and he asked whether I can walk two blocks. I still had time, so I said sure. I got the bags. His house was really close, so it was really okay. He turned out to be a Carnegie Tech graduate of sometime before my mom was even born. :) He said he was from Italy, and come to the US in 1920 when he was 7. He said he has injured his leg in World War 2, and that he has been Art professor in University of Pittsburgh for several several decades! I went inside his house to put his back near the kitchen, and WOW! His house was full of his works. Sculpture, drawings, photos of his sculptures all around the world.. He gave me copies of some of his work. He said he has lost his wife and daughter(both artists) last September, and he gave me copies of his wife's work and his daughter's poetry.

This is one of his daughter's poems.


Joys of Life

Each year stretches
from season to season,
unfolding our lives.

We create a picture
from the mystery of Fall...
its blazing reds, oranges
splashing our landscape,
to the eerie calm of Winter
when trees shiver and
sparrow huddle around chimneys.

Soon, hidden bulbs venture out,
buds reveal their secrets
and songs fill the skies
again and again.

We add out friends...
the familiar and new.
Always here in or circle
they bring laughter and joy,
offer a calming touch of a hand
to settle fear sadness,
the tears when a loved one leaves.

Friends are color
that hold us
through the seasons,
even when our picture
changes.


That's a nice poem. God bless her and also her mother who both passed away last year. The old man wanted to find some more poems, but I thought he was getting tired. I had spent one whole hour just looking at his works and talking!!. It was already 6, so I asked him to find it for me and put it somewhere safe, and that I will visit him again, to get the poem. I am looking forward to do that sometime next week.

He was Virgil Cantini. I felt so honored to be at his house, and talk to him, and look at his old old sketch books, dating back to even to 1941! But I feel like this not just because he was a great artist, but also because he was a great man who have lived a great life full of love and adventure and passion.


At 6pm, with many signed art pieces in hand, I didn't have time to get my Pirates cap anymore. I just had time to go back to the indian shop and buy my book, and then my friend was there.

Pittsburgh downtown is tiny, but still gets pretty crowded when there's a game going on. :) Pittsburgh Baseball stadium (called PNC park) is located at a beauuuutiful location. Next to river, near some pretty bridges with downtown buildings right in front of it. And yesterday was a wonderful evening. Clear sky and cool lovely breeze.


It was a close game. I (finally) managed to learn the rules and there were a couple of really exciting moments (which I could actually understand!). The Pirates lost the game though, but the game was fun, so we were happy.

After that we took a short visit to Pittsburgh's famous Mount Washington neighborhood, which is famous for its beautiful view over the downtown. It was indeed beautiful. I had never been there at night.


Before 11 I was at home again, and pretty proud of my little city, and satisfied to have a lovely evening. I now need to read some awesome machine learning (Hierarchical Dirichlet Processes) paper. Ah, the joys of life! :)

I was watching Obama's talk in Berlin this evening.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-9ry38AhbU]

My dreamy half jumps up and down with glee! How cool this guy's goals are! And he HAS so much potential. My realistic half scratches head and thinks OK how exactly is he gonna do all these cool stuff. My me (both halves together) says it will definitely be some good improvement anyway.

I hope he is elected. I think the more "open" approach he is representing is far more useful for middle east (and world) peace than a narrow hostile approach currently in place. Even the current Iranian government, I think, might consider new replies and new options.

I wish I could vote. If you can, then please don't let this opportunity get away.

Spending the 4th of July holidays in NYC was the coolest journey I had. Ever!
We took off in a rainy Thursday afternoon from Pittsburgh. Everything here was a mess! I was in the middle of writing a paper. Had to put it to a halt, and with my small suitcase with a pillow stuffed inside it, I joined my amazing friends. The ride was pretty long. We got there at 10:30 or something. My lovely lovely Friend A was waiting for us, and we had a lovely dinner together. I then went back to my annoying paper, finished it and submitted it, took a soothing shower, and at 2am was sleeping in the very humid weather of NY.

The next day was the big day! On Friday morning on 4th of July of 2008 we went to visit Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. We took the ferry (my first ferry ride) to Ellis Island at first. There we visited the immigration museum. There was this cute little theater performance there which we bought tickets for. (my first theater performance in the US) It was a funny story about how Béla Lugosi immigrated to the US. What else do you expect to watch in an immigration museum after all? I liked it.


Then we went to watching all the old interesting photos of immigrants of old times. It was really interesting, seeing how things has changed. How people's traditions has changed over time. I wonder how each of my American reader's ancestors came to the US. Each single person who immigrated must have lived a novel!


After Ellis Island we took ferry again to the Statue of Liberty island. We only visited the outside of the statue (we had not reserved tickets, and the line was too long). But of course even from the outside it was pretty exciting experience. I didn't know the statue is copper, and that the blue color is because of oxidation. I like the blue color now.


We then went to get our first New York style pizza in Manhattan. Wow, Manhattan: Dirty, big, crowded, full of shops and crazy cab drivers. That's my definition of a perfect home city! Going to Manhattan, more than anything, brought back fun memories of life in Tehran. There's just so much going on, and you can have fun, but with the expense of losing lots of time in traffic and looking for parking. Hehe. I loved Manhattan specially for these features.


We got a nice pizza. Actually on Friday we didn't get into too much traffic. We even found parking pretty easily. After lunch, we went up the Empire State Building. Before that we passed through fifth avenue, breathed in all the crowd and shops (so refreshing after living in Pittsburgh for sooo long!) and then went to see the whole city from 86th floor of the Empire state building. The line was pretty long! Specially because there were only this limited number of elevators to take everyone up. I think we spend an hour just to get up there! But it was worth it. We got to see everywhere. The weather wasn't as clear as we wished for, but still, it was pretty interesting, watching all these long building from tip of an even longer building.


After the Empire State Building we went to find a nice place for watching the famous fireworks. We went to south sea port and watched the fireworks from there. I loved the one firework which was like a cube and another one which was like palm trees, and there were some which looked like waterfalls and there was one that had different speed at different stages of burning. I don't mind repeating the experience next year :D


After the fireworks, we were pretty tired. We had to walk a long way through China town. It was so funny that some shops didn't even have English banners. I think you can live there without ever having to speak English. Well, at least if you are Chinese.

We then went back home and were fast asleep soon after.

The next morning we got up a little late. (We were exhausted the night before). It was a rainy Saturday, and we headed to Metropolitan Museum. We spend a good 4-5 hours there, and enjoyed different sections throughly. I even found many pieces that were from Iran. I took several photos with them :) Unfortunately I didn't have time to cover the Far east section. I should plan another visit some time just for that!

After Met we, the loyal good students of the world, went to visit campus of Columbia University. We went to every floor in the engineering building, and took photos. We even discovered an Iranian faculty there. She used to be my teacher, when I was at middle school and when she probably was still a very young student in Iran. World, with all its greatness, is indeed very very small!

At 6 we were walking down the Broadway Avenue after joining with 2 other Iranian friends. We met up with them at Columbus Circle, and decided to walk down. The good thing about crowded crowded streets is that you enjoy just the walk itself without even spending a penny. Window shopping is definitely one of my favorite activities! Times square was so heavenly (=crowded and with many big shops and screens!)


We spend half an hour in the m&m shop, hehee, and I even bought souvenir. We then walked back up and said goodbye to our friends in Columbus circle and went to our luckily found parking place. We then got a nice food from mamoon's falafel, and then passed through an street which lots of people were standing with cameras. We asked people around and found out that Madonna is coming out of of the house in any minute. But we couldn't wait (we were in the street, driving) but still, heard people's cheers just a few seconds after we got away from that place. They must have seen her.


We then went back home and slept like a log!

Sunday we went to Princeton University. I liked the campus. It looked so prestigious, the city was very peaceful, and it was close to NYC. We walked around the campus till lunch, and then went to another friend's house for the lunch. They were one of those cool people that I heard about back in Iran. I couldn't believe that I was having lunch with them!


It was then time to say goodbye and head back to pack again. Our wonderful wonderful journey was now over. We headed back, had a fun dinner, missed an exit somewhere and lost an hour for that, but just when clock showed 2am I turned my keys to my home sweet home. I didn't even take a shower. I went straight to bed, and the next day, life was back to normal in Pittsburgh!

Viva Spain! I liked the Game today! It was the first soccer match I watched after a whole year. Wow! I had nearly forgotten how FUN it is to watch soccer! Yaaaaaaay to soccer!

There are several students from Germany in our lab. Some of them are such soccer fans! I feel so sorry for them. They must have had a gloomy day today. But the good thing is that at least Spain actually deserved to win today. They were on the offense wheel all along.

I am now so away from soccer that I don't know how players look like anymore. One good reason for me to watch soccer has always been the handsome genius guys! I never liked Germany because the players didn't look cool and fun. There was Kahn who looked like an old wolf. (I don't consider that handsome, mind you!) but at least he had some charisma. Italians have many fans among the girls I guess. I used to have multiple crushes on some of them too, but before last year I had become a fan of Portugal. Their team had some outstanding individuals which looked pretty handsome too.

I hope there's SOME ONE here among the readers who actually knows what soccer is! :P
Anyway, good game it was.

Yesterday I had medical examination for American's drivers license. It seems that my weight and height are pretty okay. I learned my numbers in American units just now. 5.8" sounds pretty tall! I like it. And I am 130 lbs these days, which means my worries about getting fat this year was nonsense. I weigh exactly the same as I did last yeah at home.

The physician was very nice and friendly. I was their first Iranian subject. The nurse also seemed very eager to hear about everything in Iran, and I guess he didn't quite know what to say so that he wouldn't offend me somehow. I found it cute. As it turns out, cooking is the best choice for healthy student life. Vegetables are great, and I should eat more eggs. My walking from home to school is also covering my lack of other exercise, it seems. I always thought I'm too unfair to my body, but I was told that 30 minutes of fast walk would be enough for each day. I need to walk faster and sweat a little though. Not too girly but I guess I can manage that.



I think the boiled eggs are running out of boiling water. Gotta go...

I love drawing, because I want to create images of things that I wish would happen. But no matter how great of a painter or drawer I can ever be, it is still not completely enough. It's a creation, not the real thing. That's why I love photography. It captures the "real" thing in a square cage. It can save a great landscape, a sweet moment, stunning beauty of human body, or just something really really funny.

That's much better than drawing. But still, I think it doesn't completely satisfy me. You can never capture "how" the sky turns pink, orange, purple, and navy. That's why I like filming. You can show the "how"s; events and happenings. But a film borders are so small. They can never capture how it "feels" to walk with your best friend in a beautiful and quiet street, after a very great afternoon, with cool summer breeze that moves through your hair and around your arms and legs.

The high sky and the smell of flowers on the trees, and the vastness of the environment is something that cameras can never replicate. That's why I love "living"! To me, it's the ultimate beauty. Well, of course it is up to you to make your "life" the masterpiece of your world, but nothing can ever ever replace the joy that I feel in "living" beautifully. Really, what can be more beautiful than "living" your masterpiece of life?

There was a time when I thought to myself if I did the right thing, choosing CMU over Toronto. I mean, I still have to apply for PhD, getting visa is difficult, getting funding is difficult, courses are probably more difficult, ... but if there was any last bit of doubt left in my mind, it was completely wiped out in the past three days.

There was a professor in Toronto that I think I might have ended up working with, and I was at a conference in the last three days and had the chance to see him. Regardless of the school, just the difference in the personalities of these two people (my current advisor and that person) is from earth to sky. My advisor is such a fun, smart, athletic, healthy, vegetarian, kind hearted, social, humble and causal person. I can never describe how much I really really like him and look up to him. On Monday, I saw what I could have missed if I had chosen the other school. It is okay if there are some troubles. Just seeing my lively joyful advisor among so many old grumpy people was such a sunshine.

If we take over the characteristics of the people that we interact most in our life, then I couldn't have found a better advisor in the whole whole world.

Something soooo exciting happened yesterday!
I wrote some Persian calligraphy of a poem from Rumi, and somebody is going to buy it from me! Wow, isn't this amazing?! Of course, there no money yet, because the guy lives in Berkeley, and I insisted that he should see the work before buying. So, on Monday I'm going to send it to him by UPS, and if he likes it, he is going to send me a check. Oooo I hope he likes it!! If he buys this, I'm going to write two more and just let them be on sale. The money might at least pay for my art supplies! And maybe I get better in calligraphy too. Anyway, I think that will be an awesome experience.

Today I was watching the last season of Sex and the City tv show. I wanted to see what the movie would be like. But I found the show very interesting. Even though my friends and I were not obsessed with sex like the four friends in the show, it soooo reminded me of my great great time with them. When Carrie was going to Paris I actually cried a few tears. I think each of the four girls are one aspect of our characters. Looking at myself, I think my Samantha is pretty weak, and my Charlotte is the strongest of the four. My Carrie is very strong too, and I think my Miranda is not as strong as Carrie but still much stronger than my Samantha.

By the way, it's so damn hot these days. Hot AND humid! I feel so sticky, and I don't have an air conditioner. :( I should buy one and then work hard to install it. yeah, some sweating times lie ahead, one way or the other!

Oh my god, how I really rely on the wonderful wonderful friends that I have to be happy!
There was one week at the end of last semester that I didn't have time for anything except studying and coding. It was exactly like the effect of winter. I hadn't even realized what was missing in winter, but when the Spring and sunshine had arrived I had realized how low my spirits had fallen! Friends to me are exactly like sunshine. The only difference is that unlike sunshine which is out of my control, my friendship is always available, as long as I am my honest loving self.

If you're reading this or will read this some time later in future, and we have grown up together(M,B,A,R,F,M,Z), gone to highschool together(R,Z), have gone to Sharif together:(H,F,Z,SH,N,S), have been each others neighbor(A), have gone to Kanoon class together(L), have gone to work together(F), and have gone to Tehran univ together(H,G,F), have lived in Pittsburgh together(A,A,O,A,H,W,CH,S), or have been there for me in LJ for 5 years ( you know who! ), then know that you are my heart's sunshine, and I can't live without you! :*******

Hehe, today my friends and I watched indiana jones III. It was fun :D

From what I had seen in interviews Harrison Ford had really started to look pretty old, but in the movie he still looked OK. I loved Shia LaBeouf (strange name. Is that native american name?). He was so cute! Brushing his hair back like that. I like how his eyebrows make him look innocent and handsome. My favorite actress, Cate Blanchett didn't look as kind and sweet as usual, hehe, but she played her role perfectly.
The story was very typical. The special effects were quite OK. It got us hooked up, and it wasn't too long.

The other nice movie I'm considering to see is "Sex and the City". Anyone has any recommendations?

Today I welcomed a new addition to my furniture. A cute old coffee table, which I just realized I needed so much! I bought it from CraigsList for just $9. Isn't that cool? And the owner delivered it to my door. Now I have a place to put my laptop when I'm leaning back in the sofa. And there's my chocolate bowl full of kisses on one corner, and my TV controls.

Summer has started. I am now looking for cheap but good cloths! I like Macy's, but I want to buy LOTs of new cloths, and with Macy's I can only buy a few each month. I was wondering if you knew of a good store (online or physical) that has lots of bright colored, light, and cheap tops. Someone suggested Rue21 to me. I checked it out and the prices were really good. I bought a couple of tanks. Not sure about the quality, but the colors are very bright. I guess there must be some other stores like rue21 that I don't know about. Any suggestions?

There's this guy that used to be an important figure in the government after the revolution in Iran. He is Abdolkarim Soroush. Recently, he has began to openly do some discussions with the traditional religious figures in Iran, and I find it really encouraging. He is more on the Sufism side, believing that Koran is not the exact word of God. It's something very crucial in Islam, and it's not so easy to deny these basics in Iran.
But being an old pal, some religious figures still keep the conversations civil with him (not everyone though!) and there's slowly some old unspoken concerns being mentioned. That's good for the society.

Seinfeld is about to start. I love it! Gotta go.

Look! I've managed to write lots of stuff here for a couple of days now! Let me take advantage while I'm on the roll.

These days are special. I am standing back and looking at how things came and went this year. I learned a lot about many things. Living on my own, taking those courses and doing those projects, having tough times and fun times. I watched many interesting shows on the TV for the first time, went to different journeys with different people. And when I wasn't updating this place, I was discovering a lot about myself. :)

Some time during this year, I discovered that I have always been trying to please everyone. My parents, my friends, my readers(!), my grandparents, my professors. Maybe it was the Project Runway, or my courses that made me realize that things won't work this way. Not for the top winners, at least. I realized I have a style, a great purpose, and if some people don't go with it just let them be. If my friends don't like what I do and say, that's fine with me. My parents love me enough to accept me in any way that I chose to be. I discovered that we need to fight sometimes in life. I used harsh tone with my management when they were neglecting my request repeatedly for several days. That was a HUGE accomplishment on my side! I discovered that big dreams need lots and lots of hard work, lots and lots of deaf ear times, very close connections with the right people,lots and lots of technical skills and a very thick skin of a fighter. As a spoiled daddy's little girl I had several scary and exhausting moments this year, but looking back I see that I have grown a lot in one year. I'm now a (newbie) traveler with purposeful steps and with head held high. Let's see how far I can go in this road.